September 14, 2008
Matthew 18: 2-25
“Forgive. No, Really. Forgive!”

[Today's Sermon was inspired  by the good work of the people at the Fetzer Institute and the website www.LoveAndForgive.org ]
 

Forgiveness, pity, mercy, compassion, sympathy, kindness, understanding, reconciliation…

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) was a court-like body assembled in South Africa after the abolishment of apartheid in 1990. Anyone who felt that he or she was a victim of its violence was invited to come forward and be heard. Perpetrators of violence could also give testimony and request amnesty from prosecution.

The TRC, the first of the nineteen held internationally to stage public hearings, was seen by many as a crucial component of the transition to full and free democracy in South Africa. Despite some flaws, it is generally thought to have been successful.

The commission brought forth many witnesses giving testimony about the secret and immoral acts committed by the Apartheid Government, the liberation forces including the African National Congress, and other forces for violence that many say would not have come out into the open otherwise.

On October 28, 1998 the Commission presented its report, which condemned both sides for committing atrocities. (1)

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Chair of the Truth & Reconciliation Committee, once wrote: “In the act of forgiveness we are declaring our faith in the future of a relationship and in the capacity of the wrongdoer to make a new beginning on a course that will be different from the one that has caused the wrong. We are saying here is a chance to make a new beginning. It is an act of faith that the wrongdoer can change. According to Jesus [Matthew 18:22], we should be ready to do this not just once, not just seven times, but seventy times seven, without limit—provided, it seems Jesus says, your brother or sister who has wronged you is ready to come and confess the wrong they have committed yet again.” (2)

On October 2, 2006, a thirty-two-year-old gunman entered a one‐room Amish school in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania. Ordering the boys and other adults to leave, the killer opened fire and shot the 10 remaining girls execution-style, killing five and leaving the others critically wounded. He then shot himself as police stormed the building.

Before the sun had set on that awful October day members of the Amish community brought words of forgiveness to the family of the one who had slain their children. Those in the outside world were incredulous that forgiveness could be offered so quickly for such a heinous crime. The story of Amish grace eclipsed the story of violence and arrested the world’s attention.

A book titled Amish Grace explores the many questions this story raises about the religious beliefs and habits that led the Amish to forgive so quickly. How is forgiveness embedded in a separatist society and do Amish practices parallel or diverge from other religious and secular notions of forgiveness. “All the religions teach it,” mused an observer, “but no one does it like the Amish.”

Regardless of the cultural seedbed that nourished this story, the surprising act of Amish forgiveness begs a deeper exploration. How could the Amish forgive so swiftly? What did this act mean to them? And how might their story provide lessons for the rest of us? (3)

Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” (4)

Roman Catholic Sister Helen Prejean, in her book Dead Man Walking, which later became a major motion picture, tells the story of Lloyd LeBlanc, a Roman Catholic layman, whose son was murdered. When he arrived in the field with the sheriff's deputies to identify his son, LeBlanc immediately knelt by his boy's body and prayed the Lord's Prayer. When he came to the words: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” he realized the depth of the commitment he was making. “Whoever did this, I must forgive them,” he later told Prejean. Though it has been difficult not to be overcome by bitterness and feelings of revenge that well up from time to time, LeBlanc said that each day, for the rest of his life, forgiveness must be prayed for and struggled for and won. (5)

Susan Pendleton Jones, a professor at Duke Divinity School, Durham, NC, ponders, “Forgiveness must become an embodied way of life in an ever-deepening friendship with God and with others. Peter asks how generous he should be, yet he is still asking about limits. He's thinking quantitatively while Jesus answers qualitatively – with the offer of limitless forgiveness. This is what God is like.” (6)

Today’s scripture lesson offers what is perhaps the single most difficult and yet most critical act of humanity: forgiveness. In a somewhat perplexing way, Jesus gives us a math equation along with a parable that are both clearly over-the-top, beyond imagination, overstated in every way in order to get us to focus clearly on the central message: God has forgiven us, we must forgive ourselves and one another.

Seven is a sacred number in literature, showing completeness and wholeness. Peter, almost like a young child who has just picked up his room without having to be told, comes to Jesus and tries to show how good he is. How often should we forgive someone? Once? NO! As many as seven times! And Jesus, using a formula that his disciples would understand, recalculates and concludes, “No, seventy-seven times,” or even “Seventy times seven times!” He offers them numbers which point to infinity and beyond.

Likewise, the amount owed by the first servant is huge, larger than the estimates of the value of entire economies. Try doing the arithmetic. A talent is around 6000 denarii; a denarius is a day's living wage. It is an absurd figure, so unreal, as to distract the hearer from the literal meaning to the point being made behind the story. God's forgiveness is also enormous, unimaginable, beyond comprehension. The second servant’s debt is still large, but at least imaginable: less than a year’s wages. Nonetheless, in words haunting and daunting, Jesus reminds us in no uncertain terms: this forgiveness stuff is serious business!

Jesus and the New Testament writers were pretty clear on this issue of judging others more harshly than you, yourself are judged. “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” said Jesus in Matt. 6:12. Similarly, he said, “With the judgment you make you will be judged” in Matt. 7:1-2. Paul reminded us, “In passing judgment on another you condemn yourself” (Rom. 2:1) and James warned, “Who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:12).

Forgiveness stands as one of the ultimate paradoxes of human existence. Each and every one of us stands in need of forgiveness at the very same time as we need to forgive others. Forgiveness is one of the most difficult and costly endeavors, requiring not just confession, repentance, restitution, but also the very conversion of our hearts. But it is also the most simple and the easiest of all gifts we can give and receive: a word, a gesture, a glance can do it all.

The three examples I gave at the beginning, where forgiveness and reconciliation were given in the hardest of circumstances, take Jesus’ words literally: the oppression of entire civilizations of people through racial apartheid, the execution of helpless women and girls in an Amish village, and the raw murder of a man’s son in an open field. I suppose… and hope in God’s holy name… none of us in this room have to forgive anyone for anything so heinous as these things. But the numbers “seventy times seven” and the command, “Should you not have mercy… as I have had mercy on you?” ring through this sanctuary.

I invite you today to do something that leads to forgiveness in your life. Whether you need to ask for forgiveness or offer it, do something. Perhaps there is nothing so compelling as to write a letter to someone you know you need to offer or from whom you need to receive forgiveness. Today is the day to write that letter.

There is a wonderful organization and website that has committed itself to fostering forgiveness in our world. It is called www.LoveAndForgive.org  and I commend it to you. Through that website I discovered a list of Nine Steps to Forgiveness created by Dr. Frederic Luskin. I have copies of this in the entryway of the church and in the chapel. I wanted to end with these:

Nine Steps to Forgiveness

Frederic Luskin, Ph.D.
Found at: http://www.learningtoforgive.com/steps.htm

1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.

2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.

3.  Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story."

4.  Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes - or ten years -ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.

5.  At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body's flight or fight response.

6.  Give up expecting things from other people, or your life , that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the "unenforceable rules" you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.


7.  Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.


8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.

9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.

The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.

Forgiveness. Start today. Just think, you only have seventy times seven chances left.

Amen.
 

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth_and_Reconciliation_Commission_(South_Africa)

(2) from Four Conversations About Forgiveness: Facilitator’s Guide, p. 12, published by The Campaign For Love And Forgiveness at: http://www.ikshare.com/1.00.02/downloads/7_Forgive_FacilitatorGuide.pdf
 

(3) http://amishgrace.mennonite.net/About_the_Book/

(4) Four Conversations, p. 18

(5) Forgiven and Forgiving (Matt. 18:21-35) by Susan Pendelton Jones found at http://www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=593
Susan Pendleton Jones is director of special programs at Duke Divinity School in Durham, North Carolina. This article appeared in the Christian Century, Aug. 25-Sept. l, l999; copyright by the Christian Century Foundation and used by permission. Current articles and subscription information can be found at www.christiancentury.org. This text was prepared for Religion Online by John C. Purdy.
 

(6) Ibid

Rev. Allen V. Harris
Franklin Circle Christian Church
www.FranklinCircleChurch.org


 

Copyright 2008 -- The Rev. Allen V. Harris

Franklin Circle Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)

1688 Fulton Rd., Cleveland, OH 44113-3096